Grief

Today I had to make the incredibly difficult decision to help pookums cross the bridge in the clouds. She had multiple issues and was very weak & in pain, the vet said. 

Her pancreatitis had flared up again after who knows what she ate while loose from her harness. I was very careful to keep her on a lead, but that crazy dog was at the stage where she’d eat Anything!

A lot of people were very kind, & although that made me cry, I’m happy to know they care. It helps me not feel quite so alone in the world. Not that I really am, I do have family. People have lives & I don’t see them or hear from them as often as I’d like.

But to grieve or not to grieve, that is the question. I believe that other cultures do that better than mine. It’s healthy to get the pain & sorrow on the outside of us. Tears are Nothing to be ashamed of. Snot however, well that may be, if you leave it there 😂  

The loss of one you love, or even have loved, is very real & very big at the time.

Suddenly life changes, routines are affected, habits & feelings. I’m happy to acknowledge all of that. Pookums was with me 14.5 years, was a companion, a comfort & gave me a reason to go out for a walk. She was given to me as a baby of 3 months, in a Taupo pet shop. 

She was a brat sometimes & had a very strong personality, but was sweet & completely loyal to me. I’ve never had that kind of unconditional love before, apart from grandkid’s. 

So I’m happy to go through the process, as life changes & I scatter her ashes where she came to me from.

Thanks for letting me grieve. I’m ok 🙂 

💕 

At rest 💕